I didn’t take any holidays in 2025, so I am making up for it in 2026. I write as I sit in the Emirates lounge in Hong Kong airport, having just flown in with Qantas.
The late Duchess and I had a very pleasant flight. I remembered to get all my belongings out of the security tray at immigration, for once. The Qantas lounge in Melbourne was very full and the breakfast offering comprised sloppy egg (possibly powdered) and I showed my displeasure by dropping two rashes of bacon on the tiled floor which I had to kick them under the counter so as not to have to bend down in my new travel pants acquired from Sportsconscious in Church St. These dacks have to last a month so I didn’t want any grease stains before I have even left the country.
The flight was very pleasant and the food was tasty. I began with a margarita, which in hindsight may have been an acting ingredient in what followed.
There was one incident, just one, ‘the volcanic greens episode’, involving a bowl of green leaves and some salad dressing by chef Neil Perry. I was hoeing into the salad when some of the dressing ran down my throat unexpectedly and maliciously. The immediate result was a Versuvian spray diced green bits all over the TV, window, wall and my white napkin, which I had to use to mop up. That dressing was vicious.
Whilst we are on the subject of nappery, and while I do like a proper napkin, Qantas need todo something about lint. I started off quite neat (above), but after the dinner service I looked like a blue lamington. I’m still picking off the fluff of my shirt some 6 hours later.
I have a six hour layover here in Hong Kong, just enough time to watch season 1 of my favourite TV series which Jason wisely had me download before I left.
Next stop Dubai,
Father M 
Very funny! Your adventure has begun!